‘Those who have had to endure too many farewells no longer seek belonging behind just one door.’

Book Description

What if love had no borders?

I was good at functioning.
Discipline, performance, control — that had been my foundation for years.
Until my body began to resist. First sleep. Then fear. And finally, myself.

The call from the hospital was the moment everything started to unravel.

My façade — gone.
My explanations — hollow.
All I knew was this: I had to get away. Distance. Space. Silence.
I wanted peace.

Instead, I met two women who rearranged everything I thought I knew about closeness, desire, and responsibility.

In a rural commune in northern Germany — somewhere between togetherness and retreat, between tenderness and overwhelm — I realised that I could not run from myself.
That love can be an imposition. And sometimes a lifeline.

I learned what it means to let go of control.
What trust feels like when no one asks you to be someone else.
And that freedom does not mean being alone, but being seen — even with the parts you would rather hide.
And that some constellations cannot be reduced to just two people.

This is not a hero’s story.
It is a novel about exhaustion, grief, and longing — and about how intimacy can hurt and heal at the same time.

If you are looking for a book that does not pretend everything is simple, read the first pages.
You may find that the light behind the door refuses to let you go.

METAMOUR — Light Under Doors
A novel for readers who…

  • appreciate psychological intimacy and can endure fractures in relationships

  • want to read about loss, burnout, and longing without melodrama, but with emotional precision

  • see polyamory not as provocation, but as a serious exploration of freedom, trust, and responsibility

What is this about?

CONTROL

When everyday life becomes armour, you realise only too late how heavy it is—and how little it protects once something shifts.

CLOSENESS

Closeness can sustain—and overwhelm. Here, it is not a goal, but a space in which one must prove oneself.

FREEDOM

Freedom is not the absence of commitment.
It is the question of whether you can stay without losing yourself.

🔗 Sample Chapter

📚 It’s not an easy novel. But it might be yours.

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🎥Who is the main character?

The story revolves around the complex and multi-layered characters Ole, Lotta, and Anne. Each of them carries their own challenges, hopes, and dreams, bringing the narrative to life and making it both engaging and compelling.

Ole is an outsider. At 35, he suffers from severe depression stemming from a traumatic childhood.

A workaholic by nature, he is an IT specialist who prefers immersing himself in technical challenges and his career rather than engaging with his emotions or connecting with other people.

As a result, he withdraws from those around him, only to realise later that their closeness is essential for his solace and healing.

Lotta is the child of two hippies who settled on La Gomera while travelling the Hippie Trail. At 32, she is polyamorous, balanced, and deeply committed to living in harmony and peace with herself and the environment.

Anne becomes Ole’s companion on his journey. The 28-year-old teacher trainee struggles with her repressed bisexuality and her overbearing, conservative father. She longs to be more than just an object of desire. Until she can achieve that, she channels her frustration through exercise-induced anorexia.

What are the main themes?

A central focus of the contemporary novel Metamour – Light Beneath Doors is loss, burnout, and the exploration of unconventional relationship models such as polyamory. These experiences force the protagonist, Ole, and his travelling companion Anne to confront jealousy and deeply ingrained, traditional ideas of partnership.

Over the course of the journey, the characters also grapple with their pasts, their social conditioning, and complex family relationships, all of which shape and complicate their interpersonal dynamics. The novel explores themes of trauma and healing, portraying Ole’s inner transformation as a symbol of his gradual opening towards a new way of living.

FAQs

What makes your books unique?

I think my novels are characterised by a deep narrative style and multifaceted characters. It is important to me to portray complex emotions and relationships in an authentic way. Each story should transport the reader into a realistic yet fascinating world and immerse him or her in the thoughts and feelings of the characters.
Using a mixture of subtle humour, metaphorical language and vivid description, I explore themes of love, loss and self-discovery in a unique way. In this way, my books not only tell exciting stories, but also make you think about what it means to be human.

Which books are planned in English language?

There are 2 novels in this series so far:


Book 1: Light beneth doors
The book is out!


Book 2: Wings of Led
will be published in English in the second quarter of 2026.

How did the idea for a book series come about?

The idea for the Metamour series came to me in 2008, when I was suddenly unemployed because my American employer decided to close its EMEA office overnight.
At the time, there were a lot of TV shows on the subject: 40 Years of Summer Love, and I wondered what would happen if a hardened, overworked IT specialist on the verge of burnout, or who had already survived it, met a cool hippie kid?
I kept asking myself this question and dreaming myself far away.
And so one thing led to another, until I finally decided to make a story out of it.
And now I invite you to follow me into a utopian world of love, loss and self-discovery.

What was it about that question that fascinated you so much?

I think it was the contradiction. I’ve always dreamed of a simple, communal life—one where people are there for one another and help each other. I would love to live with a group of like-minded people in a large house, with plenty of shared spaces. A life like that would be the complete opposite of how I grew up and how I often experience my day-to-day life now.

In my everyday work, the focus is on solving technical problems, tracking down errors, and fixing them.

Along the way, I frequently encounter people who are inconsiderate and selfish, seemingly indifferent to how their behaviour affects others. And I’ve begun to notice that I sometimes react in a similar way myself—simply because their attitude goes so strongly against the grain.

So I created this utopia in order to preserve it for myself, at least on a small scale.

What exactly do you mean when you say you created this utopia?

By utopia I mean the way of life I imagined, in which most of my characters live together. This doesn’t only relate to how they love—mostly in polyamorous relationships—but also to how they act, both privately and professionally. I asked myself how the values and ideals of the flower children of the past might be preserved in today’s world.

That question led me to the idea of HFNCI (Hippie Freaks New Community International)—a community that has managed to achieve exactly that, both ideologically and economically. It places togetherness at its core, operates without excessive financial interests, and acts sustainably.

Curious? Then step into the world of Metamour.

Dive into the often quirky yet heartwarming stories of Ole, Lotta, and Anne, and experience what it means to challenge conventions and celebrate the complexity of human relationships.